Who doesn't love Etsy.com? I'm infatuated with scanning the various creations made by crafty stay at home moms and men who like to whip out a chain saw and sander thingy and make pretty stuff out of wood. I so wish I were crafty and patient like Santa's little elves who disguise themselves as sellers on etsy.

I've said this many times and I'll say it again. I am creative but not crafty. I can design like it's nobody's business but I cannot sit down with a glue gun and yarn and make something to be proud of. I attribute this crafty issue to my lack of patience and the often used, yet horrifying, media called cotton balls. BAHHH COTTON BALLS! I blame kindergarten. That's when this all began. I vividly remember sitting at my desk, chewing the eraser off my pencil - because erasers taste delish - and watching the teacher pass around construction paper, glitter, glue, and cotton balls.

The assignment that day was to make a house out of paper covered in snow; a winter wonderland if you will. I immediately got started by smudging glue all over the bottom of the construction paper. I used elmers, the white stuff. You can put that stuff all over your arms for fun and let it dry and then rub it off into little balls like boogers. It was never as fun as rubber cement though. That stuff smelled like heaven mixed with gasoline. The perfect combo. You could put that on the tip of your nose and smell its goodness for minutes upon minutes. But when it dried and you needed to roll it off your skin, you were in for a World of hurt.

Back to the story, so, after bathing in glue, it was time to separate the cotton balls and spread them over my gluey canvas. This is when my World changed as I knew it. The feeling of those cotton balls between my fingers made me want to drop to the ground, grab my ears, and scream in terror. So that you can understand, imagine the sound of nails on a chalkboard, or a fork screeching across a glass, or your mom nagging you to clean your room as a kid. Just like that, that's how I feel about touching cotton balls. I'm grinding my teeth as a type this right now. Needless to say, I refused to complete most projects in school from then on that involved creating 'snow' or 'texture' on any canvases. Maybe this is why I almost failed kindergarten? Or maybe that was because I couldn't tell the difference between a dime and a nickel? Who knows.


As you can see, crafting was never meant to be in my life. However, as I mentioned, I'm quite creative and enjoy the arts. I have a career in graphic and print design so I must be doing something right. Now this gets me to thinking about what I could create that I could sell on etsy. I can't sew pillows or make beaded jewelry but I can make printable art! There are many people on etsy that sell printables like nursery or basic/custom home decor art. They sell it for a bit of a steep price and get this, people actually purchase this stuff. I think I've stumbled upon something! Perhaps I can create my own store doing the same but for a fraction lower of a cost so that I can stay competitive.
Thus, my etsy journey begins.

In order to get a store up and running I need a portfolio and items to display of 'previous work'. If you, my beautiful readers (well, some of you are kind of not beautiful but maybe you are on the inside), would like to pass on ideas for me to recreate and put into production, please pass them on. This could be my fun new hobby. Owen will be pleased that I'll no longer say "Let's go shopping!" on the weekends and interrupt his national championship game on NCAA on the Xbox, where he's up for the Heisman as a freshman wide receiver. Men...

I'm an avid watcher of Dr. Phil. You either hate him or you love him or just want to rub his shiny bald head... just once. I love him and think he's fantastic at what he does. Do I believe he enjoys his celebrity and covering the big stories just for ratings? Yes but he still does a great job at evaluating and giving advice no matter what the subject or reason for doing a certain show.


He recently had a psychic panel on the show, one of which was a numerologist. I've never really looked into numerology nor cared to until I saw this episode. My birth date is March 2nd which makes me a Pisces according to my horoscope. My whole life I've felt that I've been misplaced or born in the wrong month. I do not identify with a Pisces other than the fact that I'm creative. That about covers it. I'm not idealistic, imaginative, a dreamer, passive, secretive, weak-willed, or hyper-sensitive. I'm sure Owen would argue the last one but I'm a female who has a menstrual cycle. That doesn't count.

The fact that I'm not much of a Pisces led me to wanting to find out if numerology would be more accurate. I looked up a bunch of sites and calculated my numbers on each one and came to the same numbers each time. I had to quadruple check to make sure I was doing it right (again, soooo not a Pisces). It turns out you have two numbers in numerology, one for your life/birth path and one that describes your personality. My life path number is 11 (or 2 depending on the chart) and my personality is a 4. Life path is calculated by adding up the numbers in your birth date and personality is calculated by adding up the numbers in your full birth name. Below I've posted a link to the most user friendly site in case you want to figure out your own.


My life path says that I possess an inordinate amount of energy and intuition. I can be shy and withdrawn at times but exude power and emotional turmoil at the same time. Sounds about right. I indulge in much self reflection and self-criticism and even when I try to blend in, I often feel like I stick out. Sounds right as well. I will not hit my full potential until I'm between the ages of 35 and 45. Aw man! I get frustrated easily and often imagine a skyscraper when all that was needed was a two story house. I get stressed easily. Confidence is the key to unlocking my dreams. BAM. Perfect. Forget horoscopes, numerology is where it's at!

Moving on... my personality number says the following about me: I am an organizer and a manager. I like to plan everything I do and am methodical. I will not embark on any trip without a map. I distrust the unconventional and am careful and cautious. As a side note, that definitely applies to my life but not to how my body moves. I run into and drop everything I pick up which would would make me neither careful nor cautious in that sense. In relationships I am trustworthy and sincere but rigid and stubborn. Noooooo... okay maybeeeee.

I could go on and on but you get the point. I'd say I'm a new lover of numerology. Sounds pretty accurate to me. Give yours a try and see if you agree...

Calculate Your Numerology

I have to admit I was really crossing my fingers that I'd be a 3. That's my favorite number. Why can't life ever be fair? Grrr.

Did you know that I have 12 drafts of posts that I've never completed or posted? So many secrets, so many words of wisdom, so much amazingness that you may never read. C'est la vie.

I'm making a vow to myself that I will post more often (this should last a good 2 weeks). Instead of always trying to post something interesting and thought provoking - it's a habit because I'm so profound in my daily life, like a William Wadsworth Longfellow (I just said him because his name is long and smart sounding) - I'm going to post more randomness that I hope you all will enjoy.

Let me warn you. Random means having no definite aim or purpose; not sent or guided in a particular direction. Done.

 Owen and I are redoing our master bedroom. This decision happened upon us and wasn't something we've been plotting. He wants a king size bed because he's tired of rolling over in my drool and kicking me with his dagger toes. Wait, I'm tired of him kicking me with his dagger toes. He's mentioned purchasing a king mattress and putting it on a frame and just living like that. Like we're frat brothers. I, of course, said absolutely not. I'd rather keep the partial bedroom set that we have now (queen bed with headboard and foot board, one night stand, and tall dresser) than to have a king mattress sitting on a frame. 
     I know what you're thinking "Just make your own super cute headboard out of wood and upholstery, it would be so cute!". Do you even know me? I don't 'do' arts and crafts very well, especially not one where I have to stare at it every night before bed.

    After shutting Owen down he magically and mysteriously found a friend on Facebook who was selling her king bedroom set (two night stands, dresser, sleigh bed) for a low price. The furniture is virtually untouched and very pretty. Owen approached me with the idea of purchasing it and I couldn't say no. We're both getting what we're wanting and for a deal at that. 

    So here we are, bedroom set purchased (to be delivered this Sunday) and a king mattress already delivered. We move quickly. This is when I got super excited an on board. Ooooh the possibilities of things I could do with our room now that we are changing things up. My mind went wild much to Owen's dismay (I should change my blog name to "Much to Owen's dismay" because it's becoming a theme). One great idea I had was to paint an accent wall in our room. All four walls were white so our room could use a little splash of somethin-somethin. I enlisted help of my amazingly talented friend Paisley McDonald. She helped me pick out a paint color, type, etc. Then I told Owen what I planned on doing. He said it was fine but he would not be touching a paint brush. There are few things in life he hates, and painting is one of them. No worries though my friends, my dad was up for the challenge!

    There we are, this past Sunday, paint purchased, furniture moved away from the wall, and parents making their arrival in good ol'South Carolina for the big day. Dad did all of the edging because it freaked me out. I did all of the rolling though. That part was fun. While the painting process was going on my mom had a great idea. We had two light fixtures in our bedroom that hung on either side of the bed. They're big ugly 70's style white balls. They've been there since the 70's I'm sure so it makes sense. They're the one part of the room that I really wanted to change but didn't think I could because I didn't want to hire an electrician to remove them completely and install a light source/fixture in the middle of the room. My mom proposed removing the white balls and replacing them with modern hanging light fixtures. Really cool pretty ones. I never thought of that! I always thought those belonged in the kitchen or over a bar, but the idea of putting them in our bedroom sounded like a really cool touch. Go Mom! 

This is much like what we had except throw 20 years of dust and grime inside.  Apparently these are considered cool and 'vintage' now. I think not Scott.


    While I painted, Mom and Owen picked out new fixtures and, with the help of dad, worked on installing them. I was the happiest little girl when I saw how big of a difference new fixtures made in our room. So here we are, newly painted wall, new light fixtures, furniture coming and... oh you thought I was done? New bedding coming soon which is the very best part of redoing a bedroom. Oh oops, I didn't mention the super amazing fake flower arrangement I'm putting together. Crafty Carl is back!

    I can't wait to show everyone before and after pics of our masterpiece in the making. I'm never going to want to leave our room when it's all done. It'll be PJ Sunday every day. I might as well quit work and sell my car while I'm at it. I'll pick up a side telemarketing job so that I can at least pay to have mexican food delivered every day.

When everything is complete in our new modern super amazing bedroom, I'll post pics so that you guys will be in love with it just like me, k? No peeking until then.

The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things...Of shoes, and tops, and skinny jeans, of bubble necklaces and rings.

Okay so that's not how 'The Walrus & The Carpenter' goes but I improvised. It is no secret that I love fashion, much to Owen's dismay. When I think about what I'd buy first when I win the lottery my mind always goes to clothes. Animal rescues are a close second followed by family - It is also no secret that I think I love furry animals more than humans, but let's file that topic for another day.

Many women will deny it but it's fact that most of us dress for each other or ourselves, not for those hairy homo-sapiens with itchy crotches and receding hairlines. Men just don't 'get it' unless they're gay. Then, yea then, they get it. Off on a tangent here... why can't gay men keep their gay qualities and turn straight? Fashion advice from your husband and encouragement to expand upon your wardrobe?! AND he likes to snuggle and gossip?! Where do I sign up?!

Moving on...my husband is one of those that doesn't 'get it'. I can spend hours getting ready and he may not notice how amazing I look in my new chiffon studded blouse. However, for example - true story, he will tell me how great I look when I get home from work, take my top off...whoa whoa...just the top that is over the cami (Man Translation: Tank Top) that I'm wearing, and sprawl out on the couch in my jeans with disheveled hair. Seriously? Seriously. Maybe us girls are the ones who don't get it?

I don't let his lack of appreciation for fashion stop me ladies. NO I DO NOT. NO MA'AM. I have to stand up for my women's rights and all of that jazz. I've been told that I have a very strict style and I agree. I rarely veer from the path that I've set forth for myself in the fashion lane. I know my body and am at peace with my stubby height. I know what works and what doesn't. Here are some of my favs and tips for those of you whom are short and dumpy like myself...

• 4"in-5"in heels a must. They elongate the leg and with them you should be just above armpit level when walking and talking with normal sized humans. I've spoken directly with enough boobs and armpits in my life to know that flats are a no-go.
• Leggings are your friend, especially when paired with heeled boots. However, you are NOT a hipster. Do not wear them with flats unless you'd like to be confused with a 12 year old and/or a part of Willy Wonka's posse.
• Longer blouses/tops. They make your torso seem longer than it actually is. I'm pretty sure that there's only an inch between my hips and belly button, and belly button and chest. No one needs to know that though.
• Dresses hitting at mid thigh. Anything longer makes you look stumpy, anything shorter makes you look like a midget stripper. Mid-thigh is the way to go.
• Scarves. Take the attention away from your gobbler neck and non existent jaw line by covering it up with layers of fabric. 
• Long hair. Dye that stuff blonde and toss it around a few times. It's mesmerizing. People will love it.
• Tops with detailed or puffy shoulders. Oddly enough, they even out your body and make you look more like a normal human.
• Blazers & Jackets. Just cover it all up and people will have no choice but to ignore your body and focus on your dead sexy face.
• Carrie Underwood. Just do whatever she does. She's fabulous.

Stay Away From:

• High-Low tops. Want to cut your body in half and draw attention to your short stature? Wear one of those suckers. They do nothing for you when you're little like me.
• Boat neck tops. These are horrendous on us little ones. They'll make you look like a linebacker in an instant.
• Frumpy slouchy flat boots. Unless you're a big fan of The Hobbit.
• Sequins. No rhyme or reason, I just don't like them.
• Hats. You can't see anyone or anything but the ground and the person's rear end in line in front of you at Publix.

So there's your style guide if you're short. Live and breathe by it. You're welcome.

1. Clear Ornament - Glass or Plastic - $1-$3.00 (Michaels)
2. Charms - $1.00 each (Michaels)
3. Two wedding invitations (My Own... duh)
4. Fake flower petals (My Own from previously trying to make bouquets, not even going into that story)
5. Bow to tie on top (My Own - taken from a wedding gift it was wrapped around)

Here's how it's done:

1. I cut the first invitation into strips. That chick's directions said to do quarter inch strips but unfortunately for most brides we all don't have invites with small text or the same text throughout.
1. Forget the quarter strips, I'm just going to hack this thing up. I cut each line it's own way.
2.  Once I cut up the invite, I curled each strip around a pen, like so (pretend you can see me doing it), to make the strips curly-ish.
3. Then, easy peasy, I inserted the strips into the ornament and, according to the 'how-to' guide, I'm basically done! WOOO!
4. Viola!

1. (This should say 6 but I don't know how to fix it so deal with it) I proceeded to use my extra second invitation and cut it into strips like the first one. I thought by adding more strips I'd get more volume, and of course I was right. I should be a science teacher.
2. I still wasn't getting the pretty result that the 'how-to' poster told me I'd get. Grrrr.  I then decided to add some pieces of the fake flowers that I had.
3. I stuck my pen back in the ornament, whirled everything around a few times and BAM this is what I got...

1. (This should say a different number than 1) Now we're making some head way. It's time to close the sucker up and add the finishing touches. I put the top back on the ornament and tied a little piece of ribbon around the loop on the top. On that piece of ribbon I hung the two charms I purchased; a seashell (for our beach wedding) and a 'K' for our last name.
2. I grabbed a ribbon I had saved from a wedding gift, cut it to size, and tied it on the top.
3. Here's my finished product!

I just love it don't you? My husband said we should make one every year...I'm not sure how that will work out. I don't plan on another wedding. Maybe we should cut up his GameInformer magazine and stick strips of it in a ornament each year so he'll never forget which video games were the coolest at that time in his life. I'll think about it...

Don't you love how the title has nothing to do with anything at all? I do.